Emotional intelligence was brought powerfully into the readers hands by the author Daniel Goleman whose book emotional intelligence showed a new path to success. Emotional intelligence coaching is a very powerful method of going within to understand the inner workings of the beliefs and how to change them. Beliefs are sometimes so deeply protected by the sub-conscious that it is very difficult to tap them, on this course we aim to show powerful model you can use to gain lasting change
We have all at sometimes had to feel the shock of looking in the mirror first thing in a morning and seeing the puffy eyes and tired look after an erratic nights sleep or the all dreaded head wrecker of waking up ….. going back to sleep and then waking up again, and then frantically running round trying to gulp down a coffee or quickly do some exercise to try to wake ourselves up before having to either sit on a train looking like we just woke up on the train or hear a comment or two from work friends saying that you look like you could do with a good nights sleep.
With society the way it is in many parts of the world, sleep is a challenging area to say the least and especially with social media on permanent demand, people can find themselves being drawn into the virtual world while the hours pass by as if by magic until a person may find themselves with the sobering thought that they have either been “tip tapping” on the computer to friends for the last 3 hours or sat watching re-runs of the next drama show and they have to get up for work or get up for to send the kids to school in only a few short hours as their mind wonders where their next hit of caffeine or pro-plus will be coming from just to get them through the day ahead.
Well this isn’t an article about time management but it does have a tip for people in the above category and want to reduce tired eyes. There are many other options but this is one which I have been testing with a few people and has shown great results.
We first need to understand that the body is made up of 55% - 78% water (depending on the person and age) and secondly the skins elasticity (stretchiness) which reduces steadily as we age.
It is said (during studies) that many people of the world suffer with poor nutrition, and the majority of poor nutrition comes from a lack of water and from food sources that burn up water too quickly (junk food, sugar etc..) ,leaving the body in a dehydrated state. If we then imagine the water being taken away from our skin (which is in lesser need) to support our muscles or the stomach (greater need) as it does in shock state for example, it is possible to understand how the skin around the eyes can become dehydrated. Using the analogy of a grape left in the fruit bowl for too long we start to notice the wrinkled texture of the skin, which is purely caused by the fluid in the grape evaporating and the skin shrinking to fit the new smaller shape…. And so is the same with the eyes.
We recently did a test with 5 people (including myself) of different age groups and gender all of which for 7 days had only 5 hours sleep a night, then in the morning, woke up and then went back to sleep for one hour and then woke back up and started the day, we all noticed the skin around the eyes looked puffy and tired.
As soon as we woke up the second time we drank between ¾ litres or 1 litre of pure water and within 20-30 minutes the eyes looked fresh on awake with a total transformation. However, on the days where we did not drink the water it took on average 4-5 hours for the eyes to return to normal however the feeling of tiredness (physical and emotional) lasted all day. This was done with tap water and with no flavourings.
There are a great many variables on this study and was done only in a short period of time but everybody who took part noticed exactly the same results.
Water! Are you getting enough?
These 2 videos are from a member on you-tube and give a terrifying metaphorical glance at firstly how easy it is to become addicted to something and then crave it even though we know it is not healthy and secondly how what we think is real - is real for us!
Video 1
Video 2
Question everything!
***Note*** If the video is not showing please install flash onto your computer!
What defines dependancy? and how would you know if you are yourself?
Thousands of people everyday live in this situation and many of them have no idea that its happening until a break up happens leaving them completely confused.
In this video we cover how to spot the main signals and what to do to counter balance the situation
We all at some point in life have to deal with a bully or manipulator that wants to put us down or insults us in front of their peer group.
Heres how they gain their power
Facebook is by far the most popular social networking portal on the internet, of that there is no doubt, and surely a “social networking” site should bring people closer together and reward the members with a more fulfilling life, but due to research there seems to be something under the radar that can affect people more than they realise.
Each and everyday millions of people log on and hope in vain that they have that all awaited number perched happily above their messages to say that somebody has sent them a mail, this for anybody is a great feeling to know that somebody has reached out and wants to speak to us. In many cases it is a friend who wants to pass the time of day or send us some exciting news they want to share. Or it may be a new person who we have never spoke to us before and wants to make a new friend.
So how does that affect the sex life?
In days gone by before the internet became so popular and most of the world rushed home to log on, most people socialised by phoning up a friend, going to the local bar and catching up. Being in the social circle and actually speaking to people was a great way to form new friendship and possibly even a relationship.
It is true that facebook gives us a fantastic opportunity to meet ne people online and chat to find if there is any connection and then meet up, but is this not where the glitch appears??
With the increasing social pressure of looking the right way and wearing the right clothes, the media can bombard and confuse many people into feeling rejectable and below standard and in many cases without them even realising it.
Social media such as facebook can give any member carrying that fear of rejection a fantastic place to hide from observing eyes whilst still feeling like they are connecting with the outside world.
For single people with a fear of rejection this can be fatal, with thousands of people all over the world online at any moment in time it is possible to strike up a conversation with somebody they like the look of at any point 24 hours a day and the image that the other person can portray online may be more of a fantasy than actual reality. The reason this can be fatal is the hopes and dreams of the facebook addict can continually inspired with person after person after person leading to endless conversations day after day month after month and so on, leaving the person sat crouched over the monitor hoping that “the next” will be the one but continually being left in the dark.
If any of the socialites want to feel empowered it is very easy to say the right thing to make the other person think they are desired in everyway, but is the other person just after control? What is said behind a computer may be a far cry from reality. This endless drug and fantasy of being desired can fulfil the feeling and hopes but in reality leaves a person very lonely both physically and mentally and emotionally. If the only relationship a person has is with a few words which appear on the monitor rather than with an actual person exactly what exactly is this doing to the sex life and or any other life for that matter?
Balance is the key, don’t get caught!
Businesses all over the world start and go under within a few weeks or some lucky ones last a year, but the drop out rate of business is terrifying.
Day after day people have a new exciting idea that may or may not be the new wave of success but when the reality hits the cracks start to appear and the energy quickly disperses. Some of these ideas are dead in the water to begin with but some of them have fantastic potential to make a huge difference to the lives of millions of people all over the world, so if these ideas are so great, why is it then that they fail.
Below we discuss three of the main reasons why businesses fail.
1. Failing to plan
Although this is such a well quoted saying, it still holds true in any field. Knowing what you are doing and where you are going is essential, so why do so few do this? Number one reason? They see it as boring! Most people setting up a new business crave the excitement and fun, they don’t want to sit there with a pad of paper and pen and draw out financial plans and business projections, they want to get into the action and drama of the new challenge.
The last things a military leader going into a war zone would do, would be to avoid effective planning! When your life is on the line, planning becomes the main focus.
It may be boring and laborious and there may be things you do not want to see, but avoiding this could be death to any new business.
2. They are in it just to make money
Money makes the world go round and of that there is no doubt and although money may not be the be all and end all, but without it, the icy grip of fear is not far away, fear that we cant pay the bills, fear that we will look like a failure for having no money and fear that we can’t join in to our friends social activities.
However, if the goal is money, the business will always be a tremendous risk. Money can be found in many places and if the goal is to make money, as different business opportunities pass by, the person who desires just money can easily be swayed like a buoy in the water and going with the tide.
If the new business is a driving passion of the owner the chances of that passion driving them forward and keeping them on track is greatly increased.
When challenging time hit a business, focus and passion are the two main components of success.
3. Fear of rejection
This is an emotional crippler, millions of people all over the world place their hands over their heart to try and protect the eggshell fragility of social exclusion. A simple “NO” or somebody saying they are not interested in the business is enough to make many procrastinate and avoid the risk of rejection.
Being excluded, especially for what you want to achieve, can be very painful and trigger memories of long ago when we were small and could not handle life, and if this fear is still within, as much as the person may deny it existence, it can still turn even the strongest will into that of a small child.
Learn how to face rejection!
These are just three reasons why businesses fail, there are many others such as market crashes and wrong environments, but if any new business has these 3 main ones covered, they will be 90% of the way to success.
This article has been created from interviews with over 100 women
Every person who walks the earth has the burning desire to live the life they want, and the more fun we can have the better. Life is not meant to be dull, the mind cannot accept drudgery and uniformity, the mind craves stimulation and excitement as much as the body needs food.
Although the world is jam packed with opportunities to live our lives the way we want, to have the financial wealth, social life, career and the family we dream of, how many ever truly have that? Many of the educational systems that train us as children cover aspects of knowledge such as Maths, English and Trigonometry, but how many breach the waters of goals setting and living to the true potential?
Are we taught as a race to colour within the lines, don’t walk on the grass and be a good person by ignoring our feeling and putting others first?
Although it is very inspiring to see women living their true potential and being free to do what they want, how many women are actually kept down? During the research of these topics I have heard countless stories of how women can be treated as second rate, especially in the business world, unfortunate but true in many cases.
It can sometimes be extremely challenging to move forward against suppression without being seen to be a trouble causer, and a suppression that is so subtle and habitual that it can barely be noticeable (except to those who feel its grip)
But for those women out there who do feel that they have to colour between the lines and ignore their drive to move forward, does that actually stop the “feeling” of wanting to move forward? It’s doubtful….
So where do the bad boys come into this?
Well as we saw from part 1, the bad boy creates an air of the hero, a chance to have an adventure, a feeling of “come with me and we can ride off into the sunset” and what could be more attractive to any women who feels society is going to suppress her and she can’t win than the bad boy who rides up and offers promise of mystery and excitement and a world wind romance to take all the troubles away! A promise that they will be on the side of the lady they love, fighting for their freedom equally as one person, to be truly heard and understood and treated with true respect in everyway!
Is this not the doorway to ultimate freedom! The dream of being truly accepted for whom she truly is, giving the ultimate opportunity for self expression?
Personal view by Paul Ryder
These article’s are created from the views of women I have interviewed and on this particular topic is still surprises me how much suppression there is in life. Men and woman are equal and each sex has their different gifts. Suppression is created by self conscious people who want to control others and this is not just related to women, men can suffer tremendous guilt by being labelled as a bad boy when they are not. There is good and bad in us all and it is important to observe that before we cast judgement.
It is a regularly used phrase by thousands if not millions of women across the globe that they always seem to go for the “bad boy” even though they know it is not right or a good relationship move, yet they still do, the questions begs as to why??
There are a great many reasons for this to happen and in this article we are going to cover one of the most powerful.
The human drive is one that nobody can avoid, even the effect of drugs and alcohol eventually pale in comparison to the human spirit. Nature by its very design is made for us to connect to each other; in fact the very survival of our race depends on it.
The phrase “only the strongest survive” is very apt here and although this can come with some debate issues, it is a very real need for us to associate with the strongest and skilful of those in our social circle. The purpose of doing this can take us back to survival itself, given that our lives can be sometimes very unstable or volatile can lead to the feelings of doubt and/or insecurity, this doesn’t even have to mean that we see ourselves as weak, but if there is only one of us to look after our home, how could we ever truly rest? Who would guard us and support us when we sleep or are ill?
To explain the “good girls/bad boys” question, we must revisit the “hunter/gatherer” (Men provide food and Women support the home/nest) and although in some people the mere mention of this can be seen as sexist, this mindset has been with us for thousands of generations and in many cases is built into our genetics and no matter how much a person may deny this the fact, it still remains that this has been a huge part of our evolution up to date and although we have a great deal of control of our lives with our minds, our genetic make-up still determines a great deal. This is where the bad boy attitude can play a huge part in attracting a partner.
Perception is reality! If we observe the bad boy and his attitude, it can appear that he is the king of the crop, the provider, the hero who may leap into a burning building to save a child and then cuddle up to the woman he loves all in one swoop, a real Man’s man but with the hint that he has a heart full of love and will put others first and if this is displayed who would (male or female) not want to be around that? Genetics take over and the rest is history….
So why the disaster?
Remember perception is reality, just because a bad boy displays these heroic attitude does not mean that he is one. It is easy to copy moves and hint that he is the leader, a subtle word here, a posh car there all go to building the reputation of the hero and if displayed in a certain way many would not even question it as to some questioning the bad boy could even question the dream that they don’t exist.
True heroes do exist but so many can act in a certain way and appear and as we all know appearances can be deceiving
Never judge a person by the style of the armour, but by the heart that is behind it!
In many conversations around the world it seems to appear in many cases that the definition of shame and guilt become almost the same meaning, however both of these words have very different meanings and by not understanding what they both mean could hold a person back in their development indefinitely, keeping them trapped in the past.
We will first begin with guilt as is the lesser of the two evils so to speak.
Guilt is a feeling that we have done something wrong in our actions and that those actions could then lead to a pain of some sort, either to ourselves or to another, and even if it to another many times guilt comes as a fear of what pain we will have as a result of this situation.
Guilt therefore can be described as “our actions are a mistake”
If we are taking actions that are a mistake, the situation is therefore our actions not us so although guilt can crush peoples spirits, the actions can be changes and therefore the results/feelings
Shame however is not as easy and is usually more painfully debilitating than the person realises. Shame is not something that the person feeling it want to particularly discuss in public as it is something they would rather hide away, and the paradox comes in the form of if people feel they do want to be open about their dark past it is no longer shame as they can now face it. Shame is something that the persons mind feels is too much and wants to avoid discussing it for fear of the outcome.
The reason shame is so destroying is that whereas guilt is a feeling that our actions are a mistake, shame believes that “WE ARE” the mistake.
The mind we see through at this moment today will obviously disagree with this for self protection but shame is stored at an emotional level not a conscious level and can therefore keep growing and growing until it is resolved.
Shame can be stored in any part of our emotional self and can and will be formed in our young an impressionable years when we were finding out our place in this world. If the others that we learned from wanted to put us down to feel better about themselves it is possible that our reaction could have been they act that way because we are wrong in someway, but if the person we learn from does not explain why they do this, it could be assumed there is no answer.
There is always a way and if you can relate to the above, do something about it as soon as possible. Guilt and shame lead to avoidance of life, it doesn’t have to be that way!
