Sometimes people can act in a certain way that leaves others feeling completely powerless and the victim in the game can end up confused and disorientated with no idea how it all happened. This has happened to everybody at some stage in their life as people trying to get ‘one up on each other’ is a natural process of leadership, however in many cases it is both sides that do not recognise what is happening.

Here I will describe the “hit and run” method of emotional manipulation. This style of power control is one of the most potent as unless the victim is very strong in will power and prepared to risk looking out of place, the odds of success are stacked against success.

A hit and run method is described as the following…

Imagine one partner (Person A) has spent a long time preparing to go out for the evening and taken lots of care and attention, but has low self esteem. The self esteem issue may cause the person to rely on the way they look to feel valuable, but their inner fear is that they are not good enough. As they come downstairs to their significant other or friend, their friend may say something like “come on, are you getting ready? It is nearly time to go out! (Implying that they do not look ready) (This is the HIT) aimed to trigger off the person’s fear that actually they are not good enough. When the person A then tries to defend themselves by replying….. “I am ready” their partner can turn back and say “Great you look fantastic, let’s go then!” (This is the RUN) If person A then asks for reassurance and says, “well do I look OK?” the partner turns back and say “I just said you look fantastic” The insult has been placed in person A’s mind and they can’t really come back from it, leaving them with a feeling of inadequacy all night, but really leaving their partner (person B) in complete control.

When a person feel vulnerable they usually look to others for support and advice as they start to doubt their own value and become fearful of rejection by making errors, this is a very manipulative trick which can destroy a persons day or night leaving some marked for years by triggering off deep inner fears from the past. The only power a person has against this is to recognize it and genuinely ask them selves if the attacker genuinely meant to inflict injury, if they did it may be a serious situation and be harmful to be around them depending on if they will change or choose to.

When working with or around a manipulator the only power is awareness, it is very ill-advised to fight against them if they can trigger fear in you as once you are in fear your inner creative thought will evaporate and choices will become difficult. Know yourself! Know your enemy! Know your game!