How we can lose friends by doing TOO much for them

We all love that feeling of being able to help out a close friend and support them through challenges. What a better way can we say that we are a true friend than being able to give them the gift of being there for them when they need a helping hand?
Well this is true and in many cases, being there for each other is the glue that binds our friendship together and forms solid foundations for years to come so we can all enjoy the pleasure of being in the company of those we truly trust, for is that not what friendship is all about trust?

So why then would this article have the title “How we can lose friends by doing TOO much for them”?

Well, it is important here to look at something called the “law of reciprocation” and is as follows

The Law of reciprocation

There is an unwritten and unseen rule in many civilised communities that states, if somebody that is a good person or who has helped us out by going out of their way to support us in time of need, that we are in someway “indebted” to them.
They have given us something and now it is our turn to repay the favour or support in someway.

This of course is not some law that will be punishable if not returned, but is the hidden unwritten rule that most people is society follow. This is why people looking for donations will “give” us a CD or a flower, as after receiving the “gift” most people then feel indebted to them and offer a donation, whereas before they could just walk past.

But how does this affect our friendship?
Imagine as follows, if we do something for a friend, without realising it, they will feel indebted to us, regardless of what they say, they will feel indebted. If then we continue to do things for them, buy gifts, fix things, give lifts etc… they are then left with “lots of debts” to us and if they are not in a position where hey can repay that debt, they usually start to feel guilty and in some cases inadequate, or like they have let us down for not fulfilling their end of the bargain.

The person offering the gift may just be doing it to be a good friend, but TOO much help could actually leave the other person wanting to avoid the “helper” because they feel as though they cannot pay back what they own.

This can have a devastating effect on relationships of all kinds but non more so than lovers and close friends! Be cautious of doing TOO much – life is about moderation