When does sex become making love?   Many people claim to make love but during the act and even after, they are left with a deep sense of lack or simply a feeling of not totally being there with the other person.   The basic act of sex itself requires no emotion and can be done for physical gratification as we see in the business deal of prostitute and client, however making love is the act of becoming so intimate with your partner that the slightest touch on the skin can feel like electricity or a gentle caress can feel like silk on the body, states like this can only experience this when we are totally relaxed and feel secure with ourselves, which in turn will allow us to feel secure with our partner. Next time you are with your partner ask yourself the following.  

1. Do you trust your partner? Trust is the most vital part of making love. To experience a complete and full orgasm it requires that we totally surrender to ourselves and our partner and for us to totally surrender to our partner it means we have to totally trust them. If you do have trust issues with your partner sit down and ask yourself what it is you feel uncomfortable about? Your shape? Your weight? Will they reject you?
2. Do you like yourself? The chances are if you do not like yourself, then your partner may feel uncomfortable with your tension and it will cause friction during the act and will probably end up being a clucky sex session rather than intimate love making.
3. Do you have a balanced life? If you are a workaholic or a serial worrier and focus on one thing far too much in your life rather that a balance of home, work, social, health, mind and spiritual, there may be an imbalance in your energy leaving one of the six energy tanks low. If an energy tank is low the emotions will feel insecure and focus more balancing up your life rather than your partner.
4. Do you compromise with your partner? This again is another trust area. With compromise it means in all areas not just the bedroom. If one partner feels the other is too demanding or controlling they will fear letting go totally as this may leave them vulnerable, even if they say they let go their survival instinct will never truly let them relax. Sharing goes a long way!
5. Do you really talk? Do you allow each other in emotionally in general life? Too many times in life partners say “Love you” without any real meaning and as above, even if they say the words the sub-conscious will not allow a true flow when being intimate.

  Love making is about letting go to your partner and really feeling the person you are with. A lack of trust is the main blockage and if you feel insecure in you, fear of rejection etc… it will be passed on to your partner and they will not truly be able to relax, making love is like a mirror with both reflecting the others feeling back to each other. Do you completely trust and let go to your partner?