***NEW LAUNCH For August 2011***

The Science & Psychology of dealing with criticisms and insults

Have you ever:

• Said to yourself “If only I could go back in time and say”

• Lost sleep over what another person has said to you?

• Took frustration or anger out on an innocent friend/ partner because of challenging arguments at work or home?

• Become fearful/nervouse of a manager/ess or clients?

• Constantly feel like somebody is watching you to pick fault with what you do and you can’t seem to stop them?

Well if you have, you will probably be in the game of Criticisms and Insults and it is called a game because it is! A game is where one person will try to win over an opponent, but this game is an emotional one where the manipulator will try to win a point by affecting the other person’s self esteem by causing and emotional rupture in their daily routine. The game goes as follows

Step 1: How it all begins
Through our lives we are exposed to the world we live in and we create a personality based upon the things we experience and who we have spent time around. From this we create an inner belief called the “residual self image” which is an internal representation of who we are. Inside our residual self image are things known as trigger points, which are emotional frustrations which we have challenges with. These could be things such as; we do not like shouting, we want things to be tidy/ untidy, we fear confrontation all the way up to parts of ourselves which we may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about, such as weight, sexuality, skin colour, height, wealth etc…

Step 2: Our opponent
As we live our daily lives, we will come into contact with other people, some of which will want to manipulate others in order to feel more secure in their own inadequacies.
They do this because inside themselves they feel insecure emotionally and the more control they have over another person, the more they will feel empowered. Although, this statement may seem backwards, in the manipulators mind it will feel correct, usually because of what they have experienced themselves over the years and the people they have been exposed to.

Step 3: The game starts
Inside all our minds, we have 2 parts, the conscious (the thinking part) and the sub-conscious (the emotional part) there is much more to these parts, but this is just for ease of explanation.
When we come into contact with a person who wants to control a situation, they will continually sub-consciously scan people, the tone of their voice, body language, their confidence level, self esteem, self worth etc… and will try to determine if they are secure. Once the opponent feels there is something about the other person that they feel uncomfortable about (low in self esteem/ confidence) they will start to test the water by small remark and gestures in relation to their fears. If this has an effect on the other persons emotional level in a negative way, the manipulator now has something which they can use in their game. Although this sounds very dark and almost evil, most people who do this to others have no idea they are doing it.

Step 4: Playing for points
Unfortunately this is where the game can become painful for some. If we have a lot of triggers or even just a few deep emotional triggers, as we go round in daily life we can end up being around many of these manipulators or opponents and be “dragged” in to the game without ever realising or without our consent. The manipulator is looking for your or others negative emotional reactions and the more they feel they trigger them in other people the more in control they feel. This could be anger, frustration, tears, physically fighting, shyness, submissiveness and MANY more, all of which are negaitive emotional reactions which will make the manipulator feel they have control. They in effect will look for in others their trigger points and push their buttons to get a reaction, the more the reaction, the more secure they feel.

Step 5: End the game
This game can be devastating to some people, sometimes even one short conversation with a stranger can leave a person in pain for days, or if allowed to go on can lead to long term illness.
Through the audio programme “The Science & Psychology of dealing with criticisms and insults” we will cover exactly the steps needed to end the game, how to cover your own triggers, how to recognise a manipulator, what to do if you are in the game already, how to get the upper hand and create harmony.

Many people in the game will fight to overpower the manipulator; however this is just like throwing petrol on a fire and will raise the level of intensity. To end the game it involves technique and structure and is about being an effective strategist not a brawling fighter.

To find out more about this 3+ hour audio programme contact us today at info@futuremindtraining.co.uk

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Lessons from Geese

‘Individual empowerment results from quality honking’

Lessons from Geese provides a perfect example of the importance of team work and how it can have a profound and powerful effect on any form of personal or business endeavour. When we use these five principles in our personal and business life it will help us to foster and encourage a level of passion and energy in ourselves, as well as those who are our friends, associates or team members. It is essential to remember that teamwork happens inside and outside of business life when it is continually nurtured and encouraged.

Lesson 1 – The Importance of Achieving Goals
As each goose flaps its wings it creates an UPLIFT for the birds that follow. By flying in a ‘V’ formation the whole flock adds 71 percent extra to the flying range.
Outcome
When we have a sense of community and focus, we create trust and can help each other to achieve our goals.

Lesson 2 – The Importance of Team Work
When a goose falls out of formation it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back to take advantage of the lifting power of the birds in front.
Outcome
If we had as much sense as geese we would stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

Lesson 3 – The Importance of Sharing
When a goose tires of flying up front it drops back into formation and another goose flies to the point position.
Outcome
It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks. We should respect and protect each other’s unique arrangement of skills, capabilities, talents and resources.

Lesson 4 – The Importance of Empathy and Understanding
When a goose gets sick, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to the ground to help and protect it.
Outcome
If we have as much sense as geese we will stand by each other in difficult times, as well as when we are strong.

Lesson 5 – The Importance of Encouragement
Geese flying in formation ‘HONK’ to encourage those up front to keep up with their speed.
Outcome
We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups and teams where there is encouragement, production is much greater. ‘Individual empowerment results from quality honking’

Author Unknown

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This is direct from Chris Smith’s blog, one of the most inspiring video’s I have seen in a long time!
Video footage from Snatch. Audio clips from Muhammad Ali’s speech, Rocky, and Coach Carter. Still photography by Gabriel Stiritz and Lauren Herreid. Music from Transformers and Gladiator. Hanz Zimmer.
This is a fan-made video.

VIDEO SCRIPT/LYRICS:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure, beyond measure.

Ima show you, how great I am.

Last night I cut the light off in my bedroom, hit the switch, and was in the bed before the room was dark.

Ima show you, how great I am.

Only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick, Im so mean I make medicine sick.

Ima show you, how great I am.

This kids gonna be the best kid in the world.
This kids gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.

Ima show you, how great I am.

I have wrastled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale, I done handcuffed lightnin, thrown thunder in jail.

Ima show you, how great I am.

All you chumps are gonna bow when I whoop him, all of you, I know you got him, I know youve got him picked, but the mans in trouble, Ima show you how great I am.

But somewhere along the line you changed, you stopped being you.
You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you youre no good, and when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know, the world aint all sunshine and rainbows, its a very mean and nasty place and I dont care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life; but it aint about how hard you hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward.
Thats how winning is done.

Cause if youre willin to go through all the battling you gotta go through to get to where you wanna get, whos got the right to stop you.
I mean maybe some of you guys got something you never finished, something you really want to do, something you never said to somebody, something.
And youre told no even after you pay your dues, whos got the right to tell you that, who? Nobody.
Its your right to listen to your gut, it aint nobodys right to say no, after you earn the right to be where you want to be and do what you want to do.

Now if you know what youre worth, then go out and get what youre worth.
But youve gotta be willing to take the hits.
And not pointing fingers saying you aint where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody.
Cowards do that and that aint you!
Youre better than that!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

All you chumps are gonna bow when I whoop him, all of you, I know you got him, I know youve got him picked, but the mans in trouble, Ima show you how great I am.

This video was originally posted by CNoir. From my understanding, it was taken down. I think so much of this video, I am posting it to my Youtube channel. I use videos like this to motivate me to build my home based business. Looking to make some extra money from home? Take a look: http://numis1.com/smith1

Have any questions? Give me a call!

Chris Smith
(513) 266-8005

Related Content:
Chris Smith,
Chris Smith Blog,
Motivation,
Inspiration,
James Horner,
Great,
Powerful Beyond Measure,
Inspirational Speech,
Rocky,
Rocky speech,
Muhammad Ali,
Snatch,
Coach Carter,
Hanz Zimmer,
MMA,
UFC,
Gladiator,
Brad Pitt,
Motivational,
Tony Robbins

Duration : 0:4:19

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How we can lose friends by doing TOO much for them

We all love that feeling of being able to help out a close friend and support them through challenges. What a better way can we say that we are a true friend than being able to give them the gift of being there for them when they need a helping hand?
Well this is true and in many cases, being there for each other is the glue that binds our friendship together and forms solid foundations for years to come so we can all enjoy the pleasure of being in the company of those we truly trust, for is that not what friendship is all about trust?

So why then would this article have the title “How we can lose friends by doing TOO much for them”?

Well, it is important here to look at something called the “law of reciprocation” and is as follows

The Law of reciprocation

There is an unwritten and unseen rule in many civilised communities that states, if somebody that is a good person or who has helped us out by going out of their way to support us in time of need, that we are in someway “indebted” to them.
They have given us something and now it is our turn to repay the favour or support in someway.

This of course is not some law that will be punishable if not returned, but is the hidden unwritten rule that most people is society follow. This is why people looking for donations will “give” us a CD or a flower, as after receiving the “gift” most people then feel indebted to them and offer a donation, whereas before they could just walk past.

But how does this affect our friendship?
Imagine as follows, if we do something for a friend, without realising it, they will feel indebted to us, regardless of what they say, they will feel indebted. If then we continue to do things for them, buy gifts, fix things, give lifts etc… they are then left with “lots of debts” to us and if they are not in a position where hey can repay that debt, they usually start to feel guilty and in some cases inadequate, or like they have let us down for not fulfilling their end of the bargain.

The person offering the gift may just be doing it to be a good friend, but TOO much help could actually leave the other person wanting to avoid the “helper” because they feel as though they cannot pay back what they own.

This can have a devastating effect on relationships of all kinds but non more so than lovers and close friends! Be cautious of doing TOO much – life is about moderation

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As we all know the difference between a good public speaker and a poor public speaker can make an impact on us that can last much longer than the time we spent listening.

So for people out there who do want to inspire others and become a fantastic public speaker leaving people with their minds alive with new ideas, please listen to all 10 of the tips to follow

Part 1: Know your topic

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:08 — 5.6MB)

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Napoleon Hill is famously known for his amazing and highly inspiring programme called “think and grow rich”

This programme has been known to change millions of lives across the world and personally i would definitely agree, the impact which it has on my life has definitely been for the positive!

Quote from Learn Out Loud
Inspired by an idea from Andrew Carnegie, Napoleon Hill devoted 25 years to what became his life’s work and is now one of the most influential self-development books of all time, Think and Grow Rich. After gleaning the common details from thousands of interviews with the most influential men and women of his era, Hill boiled all of these success stories into a step by step technique that he argues will help anyone get rich if they follow the instructions closely. More than just a manual to attain money, Hill’s guide will change your very conception of “wealth”, and it still offers fresh insight and inspiration more than 70 years after its original publication.

Download your copy while it is still available

Click HERE

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Hello

I would like to introduce you to a fantastic gem of an audio book on how to attract wealth by the method of free! Chris Anderson is a fantastic author and fully explains the amazing wealth and attraction we can gain by using the leverage of giving things away. This really is essential listening for anybody in any area, whether business, relationships or life in general, the principles are the same!

“The New York Times best-selling author heralds the future of business in Free. In his revolutionary best seller, The Long Tail, Chris Anderson demonstrated how the online marketplace creates niche markets, allowing products and consumers to connect in a way that has never been possible before. Now, in Free, he makes the compelling case that, in many instances, businesses can profit more from giving things away than they can by charging for them”. (Quote from Learn out loud)

To download click HERE

As mentioned there is no charge for this fantastic audio programme, so click the link and download today!

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A recent question from a client…

Have you ever had the situation where somebody you know or even very close to is bending over backwards to help you out, or be there to tend to your every need, listen to every phone call or fix your car if needs be? But in reality it almost feels as though they are putting their entire life on hold for you? And if you have, have you ever felt the icy grip of guilt creeping up when they start to ask for the return favour which would involve you bending over backward and putting your life on hold while they stand there looking all puppy dog eyed and if you say you cant help they say “oh its ok, I know your busy” or “its ok I wont trouble you” and they slump of in a deflated manner leaving a bitter taste in your mouth.

If you have, and feel you have to fight the feelings of guilt for saying no or refusing to put in the same level of return they freely offered, then you have just been manipulated.

This is a technique I call the “shrouded gift” and is where a person does something that oversteps the level of support (goes the extra mile) but not to help you, but to actually gain a control over you by one day being able to ask for the return favour and hoping that any guilt you feel in your mind or heart will be enough to make you crumble to change your mind to yes.
Guilt is one of the 2 killer emotions and leaves the victim who feels the guilt with a bitter taste that they are not as “helpful” “nice” caring” as the other person who first offered help is.

But in reality if this ever happens to you, you must ask yourself “is this person helping me for genuine concern or a hidden need to control me through guilt at a later stage?”

Be prepared to be very open to seeing reality when asking this question as we may not always like to see that somebody we like or are even very close to is doing this, it is not nice to accept that people we love may have this trait, but if they do and you allow it to continue, it will not only hold you back but them as well as how can they learn unless you tell them?

This can happen a great many times in relationships and I have seen it happen many many times with client’s relationships. However the good news is that most people don’t even know they are doing it, and that is good news because it means it is not personal or a personal attack.

Step 1:
Be aware when it is happening

Step 2:
Learn to say no if you do not want to do something

Step 3:
Explain to the person if you feel a manipulation is happening (if you feel comfortable and safe)

Step 4:
Respect your boundaries

Step 5:
If guilt weighs you heavy – Speak to somebody about it, guilt does not disappear by wishing it away

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This is direct from the website City Therapy

Cleansing the liver and gall bladder from gallstones is one of the most important and powerful tools to improve your health. To remove gallstones you need the following things:

Apple Juice – 6-12 litre boxes
Epsom Salts – 4 tablespoons
Olive Oil, cold, pressed and pure – half cup
Fresh Grapefruit, pink is best – 1 large or 2 small, enough to squeeze 2/3 to 3/4 of a cup
2 pint Jars, one with a lid

Preparation

Drink 1-2 litres of packaged apple juice a day for a period of six days. This will soften the stones and make their passage through the bile ducts easier. The apple juice has a strong cleansing effect and may cause bloatedness and even diarrhoea during the first few days. The fermentation of the juice helps the expansion of the bile ducts. If this becomes somewhat uncomfortable, mix the apple juice with water. Drink the juice slowly throughout the day, in between meals (avoid during, just before, 2 hours after meals, or in the evening). This is in addition to your normal water intake. Eat normal meals.

Note: packaged apple juice (possibly of organic source), although normally not recommended, works best for the cleanse.

The main part of the cleanse is best done over a weekend, when you have enough time to rest. During the actual cleanse avoid taking any medicine, vitamins, or pills that are not absolutely necessary.

On the sixth day of drinking apple juice, if you feel hungry in the morning, eat a light breakfast such as cooked cereal, fruit or fruit juice (no milk, butter, yoghurt cheese, ham, eggs, etc.). For lunch eat plain cooked vegetables with rice (a little salt may be added). Don’t eat or drink anything (except water) after 2 PM! The timing given below is essential for the success of the cleanse.

Doing the Cleanse

Evening

6:00 PM: Mix four tablespoons of Epsom salts in 3 cups of water and keep it in a jar. This makes four servings, 3/4 cup each or 185 ml. Drink your first portion now. You may take a few sips of water afterwards to get rid of the bitter taste in the mouth (it may be easier to take it with a large plastic straw, as this will bypass the taste buds on the tongue).

8:00 PM: Drink your second 3/4 cup of Epsom salts.

9:30 PM: If you haven’t had a bowel movement until now, take a water enema; this will trigger a series of bowel movements.

9:45 PM: Squeeze the grapefruit(s); you will need 3/4 cup of juice; remove pulp. Pour the juice and 1/2 cup olive oil into the pint jar. Close the jar tightly and shake hard about twenty times, or until watery. You want to drink this mixture at l0pm, but if you feel you still need to visit the bathroom a few more times, you may delay for 10 minutes.

10:00 PM: Stand next to your bed (don’t sit) and drink the concoction, if possible in one go or otherwise with a large plastic straw. You may use brown sugar to chase it down between sips. Don’t take more than 5 minutes. LIE DOWN STRAIGHT AWAY, otherwise you may not be able to release the stones. Turn off the lights and lie flat on your back with your head up high on a pillow or two. Put your attention on your liver and, if you can, visualise the mixture moving the stones out of the numerous bile ducts in your liver. Keep perfectly still for at least 20 minutes! This gives the stones a chance to move along the bile ducts. There won’t be any pain because the Epsom salts will keep the bile duct valves wide open. Go to sleep if you can.

If at any time during the night, you feel the need to have a bowel movement, do so. Check if there are already small gallstones (pea green or tan coloured) floating in the toilet. You may feel nauseous during the night and early morning hours. This will pass as the morning progresses.

The Following Morning

6:00-6:30 AM: Upon awakening, but not before 6am drink your third 3/4 cup of Epsom salts (should you feel very thirsty drink a glass of warm water before taking the salts). Rest or meditate. If you feel sleepy, go back to bed.

8:00 -8:30 AM: Drink your fourth and last 3/4 cup of Epsom salts and rest.

10:00 -10:30 AM: You may drink freshly pressed fruit juice, preferably apple or orange juice.

Half an hour later eat 1-2 pieces of fruit. One hour later you may eat regular (but light) food.

The Results you can expect

You will have a number of bowel movements in the form of diarrhoea, consisting of gallstones mixed first with food residue and then with only water. Look for gallstones floating in the toilet (they float because they contain cholesterol). You will see mostly green ones of all sizes and shapes, some are pea-sized or smaller, and others are as big as 2-3 centimetres. There may be hundreds of stones coming out at once. Also watch out for tan coloured and white ones. Some of the larger tan coloured stones may sink with the stool because they are calcified and contain heavier toxic substances and only small amounts of cholesterol. All the green stones are as soft as putty, thanks to the apple juice.

You may also find a layer of white or tan coloured scum or foam floating in the toilet. The foam consists of millions of tiny white, sharp-edged cholesterol crystals, which can easily rupture small bile ducts; they are equally important to get rid of.

Try to make a rough estimate of how many stones you have eliminated. To permanently cure bursitis, back pain, allergies, or other health problems, you need to remove all the stones. This may require up to six cleanses which can be performed at 2-3 week intervals (don’t cleanse more frequently than that). If you cannot manage, you may take more time between the cleanses. The liver as a whole will begin to function more efficiently soon after the first cleanse and you may notice sudden improvements, sometimes within a few hours. Pains will be less, energy will increase and clarity of mind will improve considerably.

However, within a few days, stones from the rear of the liver will have traveled “forward” towards the two main bile ducts exiting the liver, which may cause some of the previous symptoms of discomfort to return. In fact, you might feel disappointed because the recovery seems so short-lived. But all this shows that there are still stones left behind, ready to be removed with the next round of elimination. Nevertheless, the liver’s self-repair and cleansing responses will have greatly increased, adding a great deal of effectiveness to this allimportant organ of the body.

As long as there are still a few small stones moving from some of the thousands of small bile ducts towards the hundreds of larger bile ducts, they may combine to form larger stones and produce such previously experienced symptoms as backache, headache, earache, digestive trouble, bloatedness, irritability, anger, etc., although these may be less severe than before. If a new cleanse no longer produces any stones, which usually happens after the sixth cleanse, your liver can considered to be in excellent condition. Still, it is recommended to repeat the liver cleanse every six months. Each cleanse will give a further boost to the liver and take care of any toxins that may have accumulated in the meanwhile.

Making the Liver Cleanse more Effective (Not essential)

A more effective version of the Liver Cleanse includes taking 1 table spoon of pure, cold pressed olive oil mixed with 1 table spoon of lemon juice on an empty stomach in the morning, during the six days of preparation. Start by drinking one or two glasses of warm water first thing in the morning and wait for 10-15 minutes. Mix the oil with the lemon juice until watery and drink. You may have breakfast after one hour.

Although the Liver Cleanse is very effective without this addition to the pre-treatment, it can add more success to the cleanse. Should your body not agree with the oil, you may instead eat 2 medium size ripe, sweet pears on an empty stomach in the morning, at least 1/2 hour before eating breakfast. Although the liver cleanse by itself can produce dramatic results, for maximum benefit it is best done after a colon and kidney cleanse. Cleansing the colon and the kidneys first will ensure that the stones and toxins coming out of the liver are more easily eliminated without causing too much extra burden on the vital organs of elimination. The ideal pretreatment for the first liver cleanse consists of 2-3 sessions of colonic irrigation, which is best preceded by three weeks of cleansing the kidneys.

Removing gallstones from the liver and gallbladder may leave some of the stones and other toxic residues in the colon. It is therefore very important that you have a colonic after each liver cleanse. To give the best possible results, the colonic may be taken within three days after the cleanse. Also, drinking one cup of any kidney/bladder tea 1/2 hour before meals for three days after each cleanse helps the kidneys to dispose of any harmful substances that may have moved there as a result of the liver cleanse.

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